doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
