Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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