i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
