I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
