Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
