What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
