i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize