My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
