Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's rum buckets o'clock
I could fuck to npr.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
