Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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