how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
