I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
