We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
