But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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