so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
