No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
