The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
