Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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