Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You've changed since you got that strap on
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
