you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
