They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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