You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
