half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
