I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
