Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
