Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize