Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
