im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
