My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
