508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
