We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
