There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
