I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
