just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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