I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
