I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
