Non-Jews are for practice
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
