Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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