so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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