Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
