I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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