margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
