i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
