I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
being pregnant is like rehab
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
