Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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