Where did you get a picture of my penis
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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