No stitches, just platelets and will power
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
