About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Randomize
