Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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