People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize