Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
