operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
