i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Even my vagina gasped.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
