We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
