I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Well I just put wine in my tea
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
