It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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