We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize