It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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