I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
