I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
