I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
