my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
